confessions of a recovering bi-vocational pastor

A 6-post collection

God in the Sky & Wind

I meet regularly with a friend over coffee or breakfast and during that time we talk about our lives, God, work, struggle, pretty much everything is on the table. Recently, we've kept coming back to the same lesson that we are both learning as men who have felt the crushing blow of failure break against their backs. In the social media age we become all the more aware of our failure especially in the face of so much success shared on LinkedIn, twitter, Facebook, and over beers in the pub. As we are constantly hit with the message that "you're supposed to do something big!" we've been hit with a message that everyday seems more and more countercultural. But yet,...

Am I Lost -or- Am I Free?

"Can I come out there?" This question lingers in the air of our hallway every morning around 8am. Our daughter, Eden, recently started sleeping in her "big girl bed" and one of the many perks of this new sleeping arrangement is her newfound freedom. For the first 3 years of her life she had always been confined in her crib but now, anytime she wishes, she can choose to get out of bed. That new freedom poses challenges for all children who now find themselves wrestling with their own self control and for parents whose patience will be tested as their child tests their boundaries. Eden, in her desire to follow her Mommy and Daddy, has taken to staying in...

Breathe

There are times when I read something that unexpectedly changes the way I look at things. Like the book I read with a group of guys about the psychology of change that I thought would be really lame but now I can't think about change without thinking about elephants. Or more recently, it was an Oatmeal comic. Now a warning for those that may click over, you may not like everything the author of the Oatmeal has to say or how he says it. In fact, I'm pretty sure he mentions penis jokes in the same comic that brought about an important change in how I think about life, so....you know what, I'm just gonna say that it's not...

When Jesus Sleeps

This is the third post in my "Confessions of a Recovering Bi-Vocational Pastor" series. If you want some context to what follows check out my previous posts: Confessions of a Recovering Bi-Vocational Pastor Exodus to Exile Venturing into the waves... I'm a big man. In our current climate of trying to describe folks while also trying to be delicate towards how they feel about those descriptions, one would call me a man of size. This is mostly due to the massive amount of fat shaming that occurs in our culture and the everyday judgement associated with it. But that's for another day. I have no problem saying I'm big, I know I'm big, it is weirder if you try to...

Exodus to Exile

I slammed the door behind me, distraught, lost, empty, alone, and at a loss of words. How can this be happening again? Desperate, I cried out to God, tears streaming down my face, I ranted, I raged, but most of all I grieved. I wept and in my despair I pleaded with God to answer one question. Are you even here? Do you hear me? Do you see me? Do I matter? Left with no more words to speak and only more tears to shed, I laid down on my bed. As soon as my back hit the bed it happened. It was like a dream, a daydream, a vision of myself getting back off the bed and walking over...